Children

Why is it so hard to raise children? Why does it seem that many people, even smart, organized, dedicated rich people, fail miserably at it?

Here's a theory: Science, technology, economics, human ingenuity and capitalism have all worked to shorten the time required to do things, particularly the menial tasks of life. Obvious examples are washing machines, the dishwasher, refrigerators (reducing time spent getting fresh food), computers, printers, adhesive stamps, and on and on. Fifteen years ago it took an hour to pay your bills, now it takes 10 minutes with online banking. One could come up with dozens and dozens of examples. This wonderful success makes us very impatient people, we are constantly looking for ways to make things more efficient.

But guess what? Raising kids still takes time, a lot of time, and none of our neat technological tricks makes it any shorter. For example, to teach your kid (age 4-6) to read, the best thing to do is have him read aloud and correct them as he makes mistakes. And you really need to let him try to say the word first, and not fill it in for him. You should also stop frequently and ask them questions about what happened and what might happen next. This is tedious to the modern mind. It requires real patience, and there's no way to shortcut it. The same with conversations -- ideally you should give your kid 15 to 30 seconds to respond to your questions or provide the next comment. Actually doing this seems interminable, but it really helps the kid gain confidence in their ability to think and speak. You can apply this same reasoning to any other endeavor you would like your child to learn, and especially to punishment and corrective lessons, which take even longer and involves emotions and other difficulties. Most importantly, slowing down allows your child to develop a better relationship with you, as you are demonstrating to him that you can move at his speed, and he will enjoy it more with less stress. Kids are not little adults, in any way, shape or form.